


~Punish Me, But Love Me~

by Kairat11



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angry Castiel, Angry Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Dean, Dean was kinda of an asshole, Ex Lovers, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Shameless Smut, Top Castiel, a touch of rough sex, lots of feels, repentant Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-01 23:53:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5225951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kairat11/pseuds/Kairat11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ex lovers meet again at their friend's wedding, five years after their messy breakup. </p><p>“On your knees Winchester; kneel and suck my dick.”</p><p>And that was all Dean needed for his heart to explode and his blood to pump right to his cock. The gasp that ripped out of his chest parted his lips and his mouth instantly watered at the sight of blue eyes burning with desire. He didn’t need to be told twice; right away, he took off every piece of clothing and threw it haphazardly on the floor. The dark chuckle that reached his ears made him shiver. He had missed Cas and his cock so much these past five years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	~Punish Me, But Love Me~

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, 
> 
> This story had been waiting to be written for some time. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. 
> 
> Happy reading!

****

“ ** _Cas?”_**

 _Dear Christ!_ He knew coming back wasn’t a good idea. _Why did I let Uncle Cain convince me to attend this wedding? So stupid! It had been idiotic of him, dammit!_ And his ridiculous heart better shut it. His chest felt like a walnut about to crack and his muscles were as tense as rubber bands about to snap. That voice shouldn’t have an effect on him; _a pathetic loser, that’s what I am_ , he chastised himself, still frozen in place. The other voices around the exquisitely decorated wedding hall quickly faded. Cas could hear his ex’s soft breathing so clearly, he could count his breaths; that’s how ludicrous this entire situation was.

A whiff of cologne tickled his nostrils and slithered to the depths of his soul. It brought back a tidal wave of old memories; a mix of joyful and heartbreaking images he could still remember like it was yesterday. He should have known his ex would still live in this town and that of course, he would attend his best friend’s wedding. _God! Castiel you are---_

“Castiel, are you okay?” asked a lovely petite woman, whose name escaped him.

Cas gulped and nodded, still refusing to acknowledge his old flame. The heater system had probably stopped working, because suddenly it felt like he was in the middle of an Arctic winter. A sea of goose bumps rose from the tip of his toes to his neck and a shiver quickly followed. Maybe if he ignored him, he would leave. _Yes, leave_ …that man was very good at leaving and pulverizing his heart.

“Cas, _Cas,_ ” the familiar husky voice insisted, now closer. He wanted to close his eyes and wake up; it must be one of his nightmares, yet, the broad hand on his shoulder felt too hot and real.

Cas could hear the lively murmurs and feel the curious gazes on him; though that didn’t bother him. He never had cared for anyone’s opinions about him. The hand on his shoulder slightly squeeze and he swallowed hard. If he wanted to enjoy this celebration, he better just get this over with. Cas was afraid the champagne glass he held in his hand would shatter. The fingers curled around it were similar to snakes coiling around a pray. He tipped his head back and as the cool bubbly liquid traveled down his throat, his eyes drifted close for a second.

 _Just one word_ with _that_ voice he used to hear scream it wantonly, was all it took to bring him back to five years ago. The hand on his thigh folded into a fist. His clammy palms screamed the betrayal of his emotions. After he had gulped down every drop of champagne; he placed the glass on the table and plastered a smile on his lips. Impatient feet tapped on the pristine marble floors. He was grateful the lively chatter, music and the table concealed their pitiful dance.

Cas stood up and when he turned to face his insistent ex, he almost fell on his butt. Time has only made him more gorgeous; _why was he being punished this way?_ He was a good person, with flaws and all, but decent. Thank God for his poker face, because if he allowed it to express the hurricane of feelings and emotions he felt, he would be doomed.  The rigid muscles in his body made it impossible to breathe properly. He tried with every fiber in his body to not let his eyes fall into the trap of spring forests.

The summer sunrays had kissed freckled cheeks passionately, because they were darker and even more alluring. And that pair of plush rosy lips recalled memories longtime buried, only never forgotten. The spiky dirty blond hair almost made his lips quirk, but he swiftly wished it away. This clean-shaven man in front of him; dressed in a perfectly fitting black tuxedo, white French-cuffed shirt, black bowtie, and shiny black shoes was the reason he left heartbroken. An inward groan forced him to breathe; his skin sizzled with something dark and dangerous.

“ ** _Dean_** **_Winchester_** , what a surprise,” the name rolling off his tongue tasted like sandpaper and honey. He couldn’t keep the sarcasm and disdain from lacing his words.

His eyes followed the movement of Dean’s throat; a hard swallow that sounded deafening in his ears. Cas wished he could gouge out his eyes, because they were disobedient assholes. He didn’t want Dean to notice how parched he was and how he was the only one capable of quenching his thirst. It was a five year long thirst that had consumed him slowly.

The downside of small towns was that almost everyone knew each other and also, the gossip. Though, the latter never affected him, not like it did to the stunning man in front of him. _Why was Dean doing this?_ _Ah yes, everyone knew they had been best friends_. Best friends who had loved and fucked each other, and had sworn to leave this town together. A scoff threatened to dash out of his chest, but he immediately caught it.

“Um, Cas, I…didn’t expect to see you here,” the slight hitch in Dean’s voice could go unnoticed by anyone but him. Cas had memorized each small change in that deep voice that drove him mad with lust. _No, no stop it, you can’t fall and get broken again_ , the thought thundered in his head. The hands resting at his sides could barely contain his anger.

He straightened and tilted his chin up. And forced his feet to stay firmly rooted and relaxed his hands. “I couldn’t miss Jo and Victor’s wedding.”

“I…Jo and Victor knew where you were? But when I…,” Dean trailed off and his eyebrows furrowed.

Cas couldn’t let this conversation continue. The wild kaleidoscope of feelings crashing against each other inside his heart constricted his chest.

“Yes, they knew.”

Every twitch of Dean’s fingers and the swipe of his tongue over his lips, or the taut lines of his shoulders was a telltale of his distress. And Cas was glad for it, because it wasn’t fair he had been the only one to suffer; was _still_ suffering.

“Oh…uh, can we…talk?” he quietly pleaded as those bewitching eyes gazed at him insistently. They were his weakness and Dean knew it; _manipulative jerk_.

Realizing that Dean presumed he still had a hold on him made him fume. Suddenly his veins burned with poison and submerged him entirely. A chuckle ripped from his throat before he spoke, “Aren’t we doing that already?” at his condescending words Dean took a step closer to him and his shoulders tensed.

Maybe Dean had lost his mind in those five years they didn’t see each other. Otherwise, he couldn’t explain _, why was he making a scene in front of his friends?_ This wasn’t the Dean he knew; he couldn't deny it piqued his interest, but he quickly stomped it.

“ _Please Cas_ , let’s talk. I need you to listen to me,” the urgency in his tone, even in a whispered voice gnawed at his resolve. Yet he wasn’t having any of it, not again.

Cas shook his head whilst his knuckles turned white. Dean didn’t deserve any kindness from him. _He was ruthless when he left you Castiel. Remember every acid word he told you; let it be your shield._ The booming thoughts hammering his brainwere extremely overwhelming. He was too sober to deal with an ex who still held his heart and the fury clawing his insides mercilessly.

“What for? Why now? The past is dead and buried,” the wince that marred a once beloved freckled face was a fresh breeze of satisfaction. Then, if that was so, _why did he want to kiss it away?_

“Because… since that night, I… haven’t had peace; because until I saw again, I was dead,” Dean confessed in an undertone; murmured words that carried enough force to effortlessly tatter the hate that fed his soul.

As his heart swelled, his mask of indifference almost cracked. But he didn’t let it, because those same honeyed lips had uttered words that had mortally wounded him. _What if it happens again? What if you take the armor off and he pierces through your heart again?_

Cas’s eyes wanted to fly away from the magnetic hold of green gems. But doing so would be an indication of weakness and he refuses to expose himself to this man again. At least prying eyes had grown bored of them; thank God for small mercies.

“Oh, good for you Dean; I wouldn’t want you to get hurt in any way. That’s what matter after all, right?” he said with a sneer. He didn’t bother to restrain his barbed wired words; he wanted at least some type of revenge. Dean deserves to suffer a bit. 

Cas notice as Dean’s jaw clenched tightly and his lips pursed. It was unfair how irresistible every single little thing he did was. To lose his sight right now would be a blessing, because it would save him from falling prey to Dean’s hypnotic beauty once again. The attractive man in front of him nodded, not in defeat but with determination, which made his heart flip. Dean was never one to give up easily.

“If you keep refusing to talk to me, I will kneel in front of you and beg. Is that what you want Cas?” his challenging tone and the glimmer in his eyes spoke of his seriousness. He had witnessed it that horrible night. At the memory, a chill darted up his spine and he swore he felt his bones rattle. Yet he wasn’t about to yield.

A mirthless laughter leaped up his chest, but it didn’t have any effect on the man in front of him. “ _You_ , the most macho of all, exposing yourself in a room full of people you know? Please Dean, you wouldn’t dare. I don’t understand why you’re acting---,” his mocking tongue-lashing was abruptly interrupted when his ex, began to kneel.

The murmurs and chuckles instantly arose, and with it a mortification that stole his breath. _Fuck!_ His eyes flited around the hall and for a few seconds connected with Jo’s and Victor’s disbelieving ones. _Dean, you selfish prick!_

He gulped and took a deep breath before he spoke again through clench teeth.  “ ** _Fine_** , let’s talk. Now get up and stop ruining your best friend wedding, you inconsiderate idiot.”

Cas wished he could smack away that smug smile that flickered across Dean’s face. Once again, he was giving into Dean’s whims. Brisk steps took them out of the hall, to the main entrance, and outside the building. Each agonizing second that passed took a toll on him; contained anger had a way to make a person weary. They didn’t stop until they reached Dean’s car and a treacherous smile sprouted on his lips. He turned his head as soon as Dean’s eyes settled on his face. Cas didn’t want him to know he still held some fond memories of their time together.

“Whatever you have to say to me, hurry up and say it. The reception isn’t over yet and it’s biting cold,” Cas said in a sharp voice as his fingers ran through his hair. He tried to ignore the hurt expression that painted Dean’s face, but his heart was more honest.

Dean cleared his throat whilst his feet shuffled on the cement. The keys jingled in his hand as he opened the driver’s door. Pleading jadeite eyes glanced up at him.

“My house is ten minutes away from here. I can bring you back af---,”

Automatically he shook his head; his heart almost broke through his ribs and flopped on the cold ground. An apple seemed to have lodged in his throat. _Go_ _Dean’s house…no, no I can’t go anywhere with him_.

“No, tell me here.”

A sigh broke through Dean’s mouth; he bit his lips and lifted his hand to his nape. At that moment, he regretted memorizing every mannerism of this man. It was torture.

“We’ll have more privacy there. Please Cas, don’t be so stubborn,” Dean insisted as vulnerable green eyes gazed at him imploringly.

A low groan rumbled off his chest and he sighed in frustration, as his blue eyes attempted to free themselves from green vines by looking heavenward. The sky was adorned with countless twinkly stars and a stray cloud hid the crescent moon; such sight gave him peace if only temporarily.

“Okay,” the word came out in a murmur, as if his ears weren’t willing to hear the answer. Slowly he lowered his eyes and settled them upon deflated shoulders. The endearing sight melted the ice encasing his wildly beating heart if only a smidgen.

A relieved smile quirked pretty pink lips and it took Cas every bit of his bruised dignity to remain firm. They both got in the impala and as if a punishment; the smell of leather, of the cologne he had given Dean on the last birthday they celebrated together, the memories of fucking in the back seat, and the music filling his ears rained on him, inundating every sense. The electrifying charge between them made ten minutes feel like a millennia. No words were uttered during the drive, except for furtive heated glances.

****************************************

 _So Dean moved_ ; it dawned on him when they parked in the driveway of a cottage style house. Dean and he had talked about buying one together. He quickly pushed that memory aside. They got out and walked towards the black front door. It seemed like a good neighborhood; the only sound to reach his ears was of the creaking tree branches. His eyes wandered around and not a person was in sight; it gave him a strange peace. It was a lovely house with a small porch; painted light gray and white, two levels. A nicely manicured front lawn and a tall maple tree to the side decorated it.

Dean opened the door and stepped aside, and then motioned for him to walk inside. _Why was he so damn charming?_ The inside was inviting and airy; it was so warm that the frigid cold that bit his skin instantly evanesced. His eyes moved curiously around the space; he probably wasn’t being too subtle. He heard the keys click against ceramic and shoes thud as they were tossed aside on the light hardwood floor. Every movement sped the tempo of his heart, whilst he tried to summon every drop of contempt he had saved for this moment. The pain from the memory of their last night together five years ago, carved deeper and deeper. Unconsciously, his nails dug into the meat of his palms.  

White and sandy colored walls, a flat screen TV mounted on the wall over a brick fireplace, and a bay window that took almost an entire wall; white curtains, a square mahogany coffee table and dark brown leather sectional, everything was as they had talked about all those years ago. _God, please help me. I can’t fall again, I can’t…_

His eyes fluttered close in a pathetic attempt to regain his bearing. The blood rushing in his ears didn’t drown the heavy footsteps approaching from behind. A sturdy column of fire stood a few miserable inches away; _be strong, remember the words that murder your dreams._

**_‘This was the last time we slept together Cas. A relationship between two men is meaningless. My dad, I can’t do this to him. And Sam, what would he think of me if he knew about us? This relationship was a mistake; forget about everything. I…I need to forget. Goodbye Cas.’_ **

When he felt ready, he turned around; he hoped Dean didn’t see through his implacable façade. Dean no longer wore his tuxedo jacket nor the vest or the bow tie. The first three buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned; it gave Cas a peek of his chest. He had to bite his tongue which had attempted to venture out.

“Why are you making all this drama after so long, Dean? Didn’t you say everything five years ago, on that Saturday night at that hotel? Do you feel guilty or are you trying to pacify your conscience?” he questioned darkly and forced his eyes to remain locked with contrite ones.

Dean’s hands rubbed at his thighs in an attempt to self-soothe and gulped nervously before responding, “I deserve this; your harsh words and your disdain, but…uh,” the way he stammered reminded him of when Dean had asked him out. His blunt nails dug once again into his sweaty palms and his mind chanted the words Dean had used to pierce his heart.

“Cas, don’t you love me anymore? Because I do; I have never stopped.”

He swallowed down a gasp as he tried to remain serene; it was impossible when his heart was a runaway horse. _Dean loves me? No, that’s a blatant lie; it couldn’t be._ His mouth became a wasteland; he wasn’t sure he could form words, but his fury aided him. 

Another scoff wrenched from his chest and venom coated his tongue. “Don’t do that! Don’t you dare look at me through your eyelashes and say words you _don’t_ mean,” he spat out; the words were barren thorns that prickled his mouth.

“ _I mean them_. I mean them, like I **_didn’_** t meanthose words I said that fucking night,” the desperation in Dean’s voice was palpable as it was the tension that radiated from his body. 

“Dad died two years ago,” he added as an afterthought.

“I…I am sorry for your loss.”

Dean shook his head as his fingers fiddled with the cufflinks, “You aren’t; you hated him,” he murmured and then quickly added, “but I don’t blame you.”

Cas sighed and took a few steps back; he needed some sort of distance between them. “No, I didn’t Dean. I just didn’t like the way he treated you. Like you were something _broken_ that needed to be fixed,” the mere thought of John and the scornful look in his eyes was enough to make his skin crawl.

“He---”

“Don’t defend him in front of me, even if he is dead,” he might sound insensitive, but John Winchester was a sore topic for him.

A resigned sigh reached his ears and after a moment of silence, he voiced his thoughts. “What do you want?”

“Please give _us_ another chance, Cas.”

A surprised laughter ripped from his mouth, leaving a sour taste. He felt every muscle in his body tighten and his skin prickle. A cluster of dark emotions smothered his soul.

“ ** _You_** broke and killed our relationship,” he retorted in a barely controlled voice as he pointed at Dean. He held his hand up when his ex, tried to speak. “ _You_ did this and _now_ that your father is gone, you want me back?” swift steps took him to Dean, so close their breaths intermingled. Yet, he couldn’t see anything through the pitch black veil shrouding his eyes.

“Who do you think you are?!” he wasn’t one to shout or behave aggressively, but he couldn’t stop the finger digging at Dean’s firm chest. Green eyes grew wide and mouth agape; he must look insane to make Dean look so unsettled.

“I…I know I did, um…a shitty thing Cas, but…,”

“But what, Dean? Are you out of the closet already? Did you stop feeling disgusted with yourself for having a greedy hole, begging for my dick?”

Dean felt the fast wave of heat travel from his neck to his cheeks. _I’m a thirty year old man dammit_ ; he wasn’t an innocent child. He needed Cas to believe him, to hear him out, and come back to him. Life without his Cas had been agony; every day felt dull, colorless and tasteless.

“You no longer stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself you aren’t bi; that you aren’t twisted and abnormal?” Cas's tirade hit straight where it hurt the most; blue eyes ablaze with hatred reduced him to ashes. But he couldn’t give up; not now not ever. 

Mustering all the courage he had, he tried to explain himself, “I have been out since we---,”

“ _We?_ **_You_** shattered what _we_ had. **_You_** _,_ with a few sentences tore me apart into little specks of dust. **_You_** shredded my feelings and decimated my emotions. **_You_ ** tossed me aside and now you want me back? And you expect me to say yes?” if looks could hurt or summon daggers, Dean was sure he would be a thoroughly filled dartboard.

“I ho… hope you say yes… _Cas_ , _please._ I was so fucked up back then; trying stupidly to be something I wasn’t, for my father and others. But now…,” he trailed off, he felt his heart sinking more and more with each hash word shooting out of Cas’s mouth.

Cas shook his head as his eyebrows furrowed; his lips pressed together and jaw clenched. It was nearly impossible to contain the fury that ran through his veins. Like needles, it prickled his flesh as if claws infected with a deadly virus.

“ _You_ let me go,” the words tasted bitter as they left his lips. The tension building in his body felt like a dam about to break.

Dean’s chest constricted tightly and it almost felt as if it had crushed his heart and lungs. That night had been a recurring nightmare that played in a loop and tortured him. “Yes, _dammit_ _yes_ , I did. I was so fucking stupid for letting you go,” he wished Cas could look into his heart and see his feelings.

He took a couple of steps closer to the man who owned his heart. His hands trembled and his eyes stung. Those baby blues where alight with fire; a raging storm he so desperately wanted to soothe.

“You _were_ and _are_ the only good thing that has ever happened to me. After you Cas, everything was bland, dark, boring; worthless,” it felt good to say it out loud; baring his soul to Cas was scary but necessary.

Dean wanted to stay Cas’s head with his hands, to make it stop saying no. He should have known it wouldn’t be that easy to patch things up.

“I can’t believe you, Dean. You lied so well when you whispered countless times in my ears that you loved me,” he couldn’t fall for it again; it frightened him. He forced his arms to fold over his chest to stop them from trembling; how pitiful.

“Those weren’t lies, not ever.”

A snort bounced off the walls; he needed to do something drastic. He leaned in, closer to Dean’s ear; the whiff of cologne inebriated his nose and with it his mind. _You need to be callous, like he was with you_ , a malicious voice slithered in his thoughts.

“Do you need my cock to scratch an itch tonight, Dean? Is that why y---”

“ ** _Stop!_** ” Dean’s hand pushed him away gently. Green gems swam in glittery rivers; the expression was a spear that pierced the center of his heart. Broad hands covered Dean’s face and a loud weary sigh sneaked in between his fingers. Cas had never seen him this upset; it was unnerving.

After a few seconds, Dean’s hands abandoned his face and despondent eyes stared at his. “You don’t have to pretend to be _this asshole_ I know you aren’t.”

A frosty glare from limpid blue pools made a chill run down his spine. He shouldn’t feel this arouse by Cas’s fury. Dean gulped as he tried his best to calm down his twitching cock.

“You don’t know me anymore.”

It hurt to hold his breath, but he couldn’t summon the strength to breathe. He needed to save it for the words he would say next.

“Five, ten or more years could have passed and I still would _know_ what the look in your eyes means. They’re screaming for me. You can call me all the horrible words you want; destroy me in bed and put me back together however you want,” he whispered, inches away from the face he loved the most. His body vibrated with the warmth of Cas’s breath caressing his lips.

 _God, help me. Please don’t abandon me. I can’t fall again._ Dean’s words were an implacable hammer pummeling his carefully built iron walls. It ached; he felt pulled apart at the seams. _Don’t cave, don’t yield_.

“I’ll accept all of you; your love, because I can feel _you still love me_ , like _I love you._ But I also welcome your anger, because I know you hate me too. I want everything if it’s from you.”

Their bodies were a mere inch or two apart; attracted towards one another like iron to magnet. So close their body heat seeped into each other’s flesh and their noses almost touched. Cas felt a hangman’s noose in the shape of Dean’s words ensnared him. His mouth felt arid. A chain saw had cut his heart to pieces.

“You’re awful Dean Winchester; you are a very cruel man,” he rasped as his eyes closed shut and he took a deep breath. His rebellious arms impatiently waited to wind around a well-known shape.

Dean didn’t know why those words made his heart flutter and tears welled up. _Hope- it was hope._

“Yes I’m, but you’ll never find someone who _loves you_ and _needs_ you as much as I do. Make me pay for all your tears and sleepless nights; and all the times it hurt to breath. I’ll pay the price of breaking your heart, just give me one more chance _Cas_ , _please_ ,” as he said these words his nose nuzzled Cas’s ear and he felt a quiver ran through his body, and directly to his.

Cas groaned whilst his nails clawed at his hips. Someone deserves a little punishment and the thought of it released goosebumps over his skin. He licked his lips and whispered in Dean’s ear.

“On your knees Winchester; kneel and suck my dick.”

And that was all Dean needed for his heart to explode and all his blood to pump right to his cock. The gasp that ripped out of his chest parted his lips and his mouth instantly watered at the sight of blue eyes burning with desire. He didn’t need to be told twice; right away, he took off every piece of clothing and threw it haphazardly on the floor. The dark chuckle that reached his ears made him shiver. He had missed Cas and his cock so much these past five years. Dean kneeled and skillful finger unbuckled the belt, and then hastily took care of a pesky button and zipper. All the while, Cas- _his Cas_ , stood in place annoyingly composed while looking at him with a smug expression.

As Dean’s hands pulled down his pants and boxers, and then threw them aside; Cas still battled with conflicting feelings. Those green eyes were his weakness, thus he decided to evade them. His blue ones settled on a black and white photograph of a mist enshrouded willow tree.

 Cas’s eyes shut close as he felt his cock engulfed in a delicious wet heat. The softness of Dean’s mouth forcefully focused all his stray thoughts on the moment. A broad hand grabbed one of his ass cheeks whilst the other wrapped around his length. He ventured a peek and the image almost punched out of him a preconscious orgasm. Hooded eyes stared at him insistently as plump lips closed around his manhood. Dean’s own was already erect and dripping pre cum, which pulled at every fiber in his body. Swiftly his eyes flited; he couldn’t handle so much after so long. He needed to get his bearing; take back the reigns of his emotions. But Dean’s wicked tongue swirling around the exposed sensitive head of his cock and dipping into his slit made it an almost impossible feat.

As Dean began to bob his head and cheeks hollowed; experienced fingers massaged his balls. Cas didn’t know the human body could reach such a hot temperature. He was burning at the stake and he wanted more. A quiet moan wrench from his mouth and he bite down on his lips. His hands crawled to bury in familiar spiky hair and curled, and then tugged. Immediately his dick was enveloped in a merciless hum that threated to milk him. _No, not yet_. He took a deep breath and searched for something to distract him. His balls had surrendered to expert fingers and his dick barely resisted, but he didn’t want to end it like this.

Dean swallowed and the head of his cock almost touched the back of his throat. Cas felt the fire in his belly grow as if a wildfire. The wet and eager noises coupled with his breathy moans composed a piece of sensual music played in adagio tempo. Suddenly, the fingers that played with his balls disappeared and his eyes flew open. They landed on Dean’s hand as it desperately pumped his cast-iron erection up and down, whilst his indecent mouth swallowed his dick whole. Ragged breaths overworking his lungs, made it difficult to speak. He tugged Dean’s short hair with slight force and caused his mouth to release his length with a pop and a whine. The cool air that hit his spit slicked cock raised every hair on his body and ripped a deep moan from his chest.

The hand pumping Dean’s cock froze as peridot eyes travelled up to settle on his. _God! He wasn’t ready to see such a sight. The man kneeling before him was a vision_. Rosy perky nipples begged to be sucked, pretty pink cock dripped delectable nectar, and a flushed neck beckoned him to bite it. Green eyes were completely painted with lust and savory darkened lips were wet with saliva, and pre cum. He could only imagine Dean’s wanton hole; anxiously waiting to be stretched by his dick.

“Where’s your bedroom?” he husked as he coiled his fingers around his hardened length. His eyes wandered around the space as he tried to divert his attention from the sinful creature in front of him.

 _Yes, fucking finally! Jesus, I owe you a candle and some prayers._ He swiftly got up and almost tripped; thank goodness for Cas’s long and strong arms staying him. With the movement, their cocks touched and the fire grew; lips tingled and eyes roamed around scarlet faces. Dean’s hands clutched well-toned arms, while long fingered hands squeezed his waist. Every subtle touch from fingers, breaths and gazes seared his skin; he didn’t know how he was supposed to survive this. He was dying to kiss those peachy lips, but when he attempted, Cas moved back. _It was his punishment._

Dean reluctantly pulled back and Cas’s arms released him; at that moment, he was sure winter had come uninvited inside his house. He swallowed forcefully and tried to breathe normally, and then he started to walk up the stairs. The hallway was bathed in darkness, yet he didn’t bother to flick on the light. It was the perfect way to hide his watery eyes; _be strong and don’t give up,_ he encouraged himself- he had to. The footsteps that followed gave him hope. Cas won’t do this if he wasn’t considering giving him a chance. If Cas was still the same man he knew years ago (and he fervently prayed he was), he might have a go at them again.

His frosty hand turned the doorknob and he flicked on the light. It illuminated the room in warm light and softly touched white and sandy colored walls. The room was spacious and uncluttered. Another bay window framed with white linen curtains claimed the right side wall. Dark wood furniture decorated the room; a dresser next to the door, a couple of bedside tables, and a king sized bed with a bonded leather headboard. Some posters of his favorite rock bands hanged on one of the walls. It was simple just like he liked it; he hoped Cas likes it too.  

Cas couldn’t help but breath in the inebriating smell of Dean; it was like a gust of wind traveling through his nostrils and nettling inside his soul. The bed was perfectly made, wrapped in a white comforter. _How many people has Dean brought here before you?_ The nasty thought fleeted across his mind and inflamed his senses. He knew he didn’t have any right to be angry about that, but he couldn’t pacify his possessiveness.

“Get on the bed and stretch yourself for me.”

Dean’s heart almost leaped out of his mouth and his cock twitched. His eyes raked over the magnificent bare body in front of him, and lingered on a long think cock. The head glistened with pre cum and his tongue unconsciously licked his salty lips. Cas’s taste inundated his taste buds and set his blood on fire. A raised eyebrow prompted him to open the bedside table drawer, and pull out a condom and the lube. Without bothering to pull down the comforter; he got on the bed and reached for a couple of pillows to put under his butt. Cas wanted a show; he’ll give him one, no problem. He bit down a smirk and lay down.

 _Maybe this had been a mistake_ , he thought as soon as Dean sprawled his long taut legs. He swallowed hard as his chest heaved a little. His cock twitched happily at the sight and his mouth watered. Dean’s dick stood proud leaning a bit to the right whilst his entrance lured him expertly with its soft pink color. He pushed his raging hard-on down with his palms; _this had been meant to torture Dean, not himself. Karma was indeed a bitch._

Dean’s fingers shone with the transparent jell as they slithered down the pretty pink bud. Cas couldn’t wait to make it bloom. The sight of Dean’s index finger poking at it and then circling it slowly scattered any rational thought he had left. Lust veiled the green in precious eyes and a tinged of crimson spread on freckled skin like a blanket. Dean parted lips let his tongue peek and he wanted to trap it with his teeth. A moan floated out of Dean’s mouth at the same time the index finger penetrated his hole. He didn’t touch his cock albeit probably being unbearable; it flooded Cas with immense joy. Instead, Dean’s left hand traveled up his left nipple; index and thumb fingers pinched an erect nub. The gasp and whimper combination nearly broke Cas’s resolve. The flames in the pit of his belly brew and attempted to consume him.

Liquid blue eyes on him and drinking his every movement were enough to make him delirious. He knew what this was doing to his man and he relished it. Another finger and his hips arched whilst his eyes shut close; soon enough the cock he had missed will fill him to the brim. The thought dragged a low moan out of his chest and like lightning Cas was there; on his bed and between his leg. Dean’s breathe hitched and the hands playing with his nipple and ass stopped. His heart stuttered as soon as his eyes connected with tempestuous oceans. A taut and tone body leaned closer to his, and his firm arms caged him. Cas was a ravenous beast and he was his prey.

“ _Ahhh_ , Cas…plea---,” a sharp breath broke through his feverish lips.

Mellifluous lips brushed his; _Jesus_ , he had missed them like food or air. His eyes fluttered and his parched lips parted, but Cas’s were gone. His eyes flew opened when he felt a hot tongue flick one of his nipples and teeth nibble at a nub. A moan dashed out his mouth and his back arched; his hands gripped Cas’s arms like a crab’s claws a starfish.

“ _Oh God_ …ahhh, fuc---,” Cas still remembered all his sweet spots; a wave of relief washed over him at the realization.

“On all fours Dean, **_now_** ,” the raspy voice that commanded him made his toes curl; yet the position didn’t please him, at least not at the moment.

“Cas, I want to see your face,” he knew he sounded like a whiny child, but he didn’t give a fuck.

“You don’t have the right to demand anything,” Cas murmured in his ear and then tugged his earlobe.

 _Sly bastard!_ He bit down a pout and did what he was told, and soon he felt Cas’s dick pressed against his right butt cheek. It was so hard and sticky with tasty milk. He licked his lips in hopes of tasting Cas’s flavor on them, but it was gone. Long fingers slid down his back and it tickled his skin; his hands grabbed a handful of the comforter at the sensation. A thin coat of sweat covered his body; the heat inside was unbearable. For a moment Cas’s hands were gone and a feeling of dread pierced his insides. But then, the sound of the condom wrapper being ripped and the bottle of lube being opened reached his ears, and his muscles relaxed.

Sharp teeth scraped languidly up his spine and a guttural cry of pleasure shook his body. Cas’s aflame length rubbed against his ass and a whirlwind of need overtook him. “ _Fuuuuck_ , ohhh…. _Cas_ now, fu---,” his babbling was cut off by a whine; the teeth biting down somewhat hard on the left side of his neck, left him weakened.

His arms and legs trembled mildly as shallow breaths broke the silence. The painful clench of his heart made his lip wobble; _Cas is here with me_. He had thought he had lost the only person he had ever loved in this way. Dean was pulled out of his reverie by the delicious burn of Cas’s dick penetrating his entrance. Tears welled up in his eyes; _we are connected again_.  

“ _Oh Dean_ ,” Cas moaned as he completely buried inside Dean’s maddening wet heat. His hands firmly grabbed Dean’s hips and after a moment he began to move. As he did; his nails dug in the tender skin and marked the beautiful man beneath him as his. Shallow thrusts combined with hungry bites on sensitive shoulders and neck, elicited pornographic throaty moans. It spurred him to go faster; sharper thrusts effectively hit Dean’s pleasure inducer spot.

“Ahhh, fu….ck…more, _Cas_ , ohhh, _yes_ , mmm,” the moans and babbling stole a soft smile from Cas’s lips; a smile that clouded his eyes with unshed tears.

The musky scent of their mixed sweat, pre cum and cologne had intoxicated every cell in his body. And Cas’s relentless pounding was quickly electrocuting every neuron in his brain. But something wasn’t right; this position was wrong, he needed to see stormy blue eyes. Dean’s lips parted, but before he could voice his thoughts; he felt something wet fall on his back. His body froze and a sledge hammer cracked his heart; _tears_.  

“Cas, _Cas_ baby let me see you. _Please Cas_ ,” he croaked as he pushed the words through his own salty tears. Soft hands let go hesitantly of his hips and then, speedily manhandled him to lie on his back. His tremulous hands reached to cup wet cheeks as Cas’s tears fell unbridled.

“Baby, sorry, I’m so fucking sorry. _I need you babe_ , you’re the only thing I _need_ ,” he blurted as his thumbs affectionately caressed the face he thought he lost forever.

Without uttering words, Cas sank back into him; carefully filling him once again. His legs automatically wind around his man’s waist and finally, _finally_ their lips locked in a long overdue kiss. Ravenous lips sucked each other and tongues twirled against one another, whilst playful teeth nip and bit. A particularly hard bite from Cas’s mischievous teeth broke skin, releasing a loud moan from Dean’s mouth. His hands buried in dark brown hair and pulled with a bit of force; it was quickly followed by a few hard thrusts. The sensation of Cas’s fingers clawing at his thighs moved his own down a damped back. A long hiss escaped Cas’s mouth as his nails left a trail of scratches on his skin. His cock was in the brink of exploding; unbelievably hard and aching, trapped between their bellies.  

Moans, gasps, and groans wrenched from their chest the closer they got to their climax. Cas could feel it building up; growing with each thrust, a voracious fire. Dean’s sweet cries and labored breathing composed the most melodious song. Green eyes pitch black with obscene lust, lips reddened and spit slicked, and freckles highlighted by a pretty blush. The scratches on his back stung as sweat overlay it; the sensation prompted his thrusts, deeper into his favorite place. One, two, three quick snaps of his hips, and Dean came undone beneath him. A drawn out moan bounced off the walls and straight to his dick.

“ _Cas_ , Cas baby, _ahhh_!”

“Dean, _Dean_ , De…”

Dean’s inner walls tightened around his length and pushed him over the edge. He wasn’t falling but flying; soaring so high and bewitched by a freckled face lost in ecstasy. Cas thrusted gently into Dean a few more times and surrendered to the sensation of being milked by him. One of his hands reached for his man’s neglected cock and began to stroke it as he rode his orgasm. After they had climaxed; weary and satiated he let himself fall on Dean’s broad chest. Smooth hands gently moved up and down his scratched back. Tears flowed freely down his face and a sob broke through his wobbly lips. Soothing hands kept on moving as beloved lips imprinted a kiss on his head. His shaky hands held onto strong shoulders tightly as he quietly assimilated everything that had happened.  

“Where did you go? When I went to your apartment the day after…um, you were already gone,” Dean asked in an undertone; his voice heavy with emotion.

“France, my uncle Cain lives there.”

“ _Oh!_ Cas, does…does this mean you forgive me? Are you giving me a chance?” his body vibrated with the force of the seaquake shaking his heart. As he waited, his hands caressed all the skin he could reach and his lips planted infinite kisses on his favorite messy head. He wasn’t one for prayers, but Cas made miracles happen. The silence was deafening.  

Dean’s heartbeats were his favorite symphony; he could listen to it perpetually, yet he needed to give an important answer. He leaned back and cast his gaze on his favorite pair of eyes, and then he spoke.

“I… _I forgive you Dean_ ; I want to give _us_ a chance. But…don’t shatter my heart again. I don’t think I could survive it,” it was a prayer to Dean and to God. He was home at last, inside the embrace of these warm arms, after being forsaken in a hellish nightmare. Cas didn’t want to ever be parted from his beloved, thus he ardently prayed.  

Dean swallowed the knot in his throat and spoke as tears streamed down his cheeks.

“I swear on my mom’s grave that this time is forever Cas; you’re stuck with me,” he murmured. His love was once again in his arms; he will never ask for anything else.

Twin watery smiles meld in another long kiss, whilst the lovers clang to each other as if they wanted to merge together. The kiss tasted salty and sweet; an expiating act that healed their battered souls.

 

 

 

 

  

 

   

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Did you like it?
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
